Swordfish opens with a sequence in which John Travolta’s character forces Hugh Jackman’s to hack the Pentagon while receiving a blowjob from a woman at gunpoint. The movie doesn’t get much more intelligent from there. If you suspend all disbelief, the movie is almost enjoyable but, unfortunately, if you have any standards at all, it is tragically stupid.
Jackman plays Stanley Jobson (Steve Jobs, anyone?), an ex-con who gets roped into a bizarre cyber heist. Travolta plays a cyber villain who wants to terrorize the world’s terrorists using money stolen from a federal slush fund (???). He also has a bad haircut that weirdly looks a lot like the one sported by the bad guy from another movie on this list, Hackers. Bucking convention, Swordfish asks its audience to believe that, in peak physical condition, Jackman is also one of the best hackers in the world. Sure!